And now introducing 2013

Yah! I am finally in 2013 for my updates. I guess I should get to it.
January-New Year and changes
The first week of January I noticed I had put on a few pounds. Prior to getting pregnant, I dropped 25 pounds, and I luckily only gained 29 total during the pregnancy. I lost 15 pounds within a week or so of giving birth, and all but 2 or 3 pounds came off in the subsequent months. Over Christmas time, I managed to put on 3 or 4 pounds, and my body wasn't rebounding too well. Brett had had some success with Weight Watchers before we got married so I decided to try it. The first two weeks was hard because I was starving all the time, but by the end of January, I had lost 11.8 pounds. Once you get going on the program, it is much easier. At the beginning of January, we began introducing Gray to new solid foods beyond rice cereal. We had discussed early on about making Gray's baby food. Three reasons:

1. Cost-making our own would save us a bunch just like breastfeeding has helped. 
2. Many of the baby foods on the market include a lot of added preservatives that we want to try and limit.
3. Food allergies-since I have food allergies, Gray has a 50% chance of getting some.

We started with Avocado. Gray wasn't a huge fan at first, but he has grown to love them. Also, by January, he was sitting up most of time unassisted. He still was not a fan of tummy time, and we hadn't seen him roll from his back to his stomach. We had started putting him in the exersaucer, and once he figured out about the bouncing part, he fell in complete love. Halfway through January, he was also officially out of 3-6 month clothes and into size 3 diapers. I had to take him to another doctor visit because we thought he might have possible ear infection. When they weighed him, he weighed 2 pounds more than he did at his 6 month visit! The doctor also suspected that he possible had allergies. There was no ear infection, but they were gunky with wax. Gray was also teething like crazy without any teeth to show for it.

 

February-Uh.. where did go?

February is another mother that went buy in a blur. Work had been very difficult and toxic environment. Add to that is the stress of the approach to state testing. Everything going on often makes me want to choice a new career path. I want to teach high school; not relive it. February meant taking on extra time at work for tutoring. Since we were so busy during the month, we had to postpone Brett's birthday dinner to March. We also called off our plans for a Valentine's Day staycation. Beyond the not wanting to spend the money, I wasn't quite ready to have him stay away from me. We did get a chance to catch a play at Pocket Sandwich and dinner. The night was a bit of nightmare like most of our Valentine's, but it ended up turning out to be a good night.  We also made a trip to celebrate Z's birthday. It was a lovely visit. Unfortunately, it was the last chance we got to see her. While we had thought my sister was doing better, apparently she wasn't. I doubt that she honestly had ever intended to become a mother at all, and she probably mostly kept the baby for my mother. I had hoped she would wait a little be longer after mom's death. Once again, we were blindsided by the situation and completely unprepared. There was a lot of discussion about what to do, and in the end, my sister opted for a open adoption. We had wanted to take Z, but we could work our finances right quick enough to take on Z. I know we both feel guilty, but it is possibly the best thing for her. I am not sure that either of us were ready for the changes and decisions it would have brought to our lives. If she had come to us, we would have had to makes sacrifices for not only us but for Gray as well. On the better side of things, Gray got to attend his first two birthday parties for his classmates. It was an interesting experience and gave me some ideas for his first birthday. I also got a chance to play around some with my new camera.

Hanging out with Poppop and Zoie

My shirt says it all

With Maga

What's up

First Valentine's Day

March-More sickness, babies, and spring is finally here
March has zoomed by as well. I can't believe that my little man is 3/4 of they way through his first year! Spring break was earlier than usual this year due to state testing. I had quite a few things planned for the break, but all was in vain. Gray has been a bit fussy over the weekend, but we went ahead and took him to day care for the first day. I got some of the cleaning I wanted to get done. I tried some new cleaning strategies I pinned on pinterest. It actually somewhat worked; there is still some gunk I need to take care of but haven't had the time as of yet. Gray's stuffiness and cough had us concerned enough that I got him an appointment to see what was up. It ended up being a good thing. Poor kiddo had an ear infection and tested positive for RSV. Since it was in the beginning stages, they didn't prescribe breathing treatments, and the nurse told me to keep an eye on his breathing. We also had to keep him home from daycare since RSV is contagious. Everything seemed okay with Gray most of the day minus him being a bit fussy and needing to be held most of the day, but it didn't last. Gray work up at 12 coughing really bad, and his breathe was definitely troubled. After a call to the doctor, we headed to the hospitable for our first ER trip. I am sure the doctors thought we were crazy to bring him since Gray was wide awake, good tempered, and curious, and then they did an chest X-ray and found a small bit of pneumonia. Thank goodness, Gray was a trooper the whole time, and we eventually got him to pass out again. So Gray and I spent the week together after all, and we had to change our plans to celebrate Brett's birthday. We ended up going to the car show and then Fogo de Chao for dinner. March also brought back an old friend. I had my first true period since I got pregnant. I had had a day of bleeding in September, but I hadn't had anything close to a normal period. One of the interesting things (awesome things in my eyes) about breastfeeding is can delay menstruation. Let's just say that the first real one after not having one in over a year sucked big ones. So spring break wasn't exactly fun with that and a sick baby. Gray had several milestones for the month. He finally stopped hating his tummy so much, and he started scooting at the beginning of the month. He also began rolling onto his stomach while sleeping. It caused us to have a few nights with less sleep because Gray gets freaked out and starts screaming each time it happens. He finally intentionally rolled over onto his stomach last weekend. He has started pulling up to stand. We lowered his crib down for the last time over spring break as well. He is also starting to cruising a bit when we out him up to furniture. It won't be long before he is up and moving around! He has also had to retire his title as the toothless wonder. His first tooth poked through at the beginning of the month, and the second one followed not too long afterward. His 9 month appointment went well. He weighed in at 17 pounds 10.5 ounces and 26 inches. This put him into the 25th percentile for weight and 5th percentile for height. While some might worry about the small percentile, he has made consistent growth since birth. Of course, these charts are based more closely on formula feed babies. For a breastfeed baby, he is off the chart. His head is huge though. He is in the 50th percentile for his head circumference! Guess he has lots of brains. His cognitive skills were very high, and he seems to be on a good social track. He is a little behind motor skills wise, but apparently, this is normal in smaller babies. The nurse practitioner explained that smaller babies' muscles are slightly less developed. After she mentioned this, I did notice that is true of his bottom half. His hemoglobin test came back fine as well, and he didn't cry a bit about it. This weekend we will celebrating his first Easter. I purchased a cute basket with a free baby friendly things. One last Saturday tutoring session tomorrow thank goodness. Time to wrap it up. Next up will be my blog about diaper cakes.

Cleaning up mommies face after drooling on it

Giving mommie some sloppy kisses

If you look closely, you will see my teeth

Cruising

Mo and Gray finally getting to know each other

And more updating

Even though there are other posts here, this is my first official post on my new blog. I originally started on wordpress, but I made the decision to switch recently. My school district currently uses google sites, and blogger is the default blogging site for google. Plus a lot of blogs that I am interested in for party planning and parenting seem to be on Blogger. Having one will make it easier to keep up with them. Now on with the rest of my update summary of 2012 and first part of 2013.

November-Firsts all around
The first weekend of November we went to Arboretum for their fall display with Maga. We had planned to go several weeks earlier to take Halloween pictures, but it wasn't meant to be. The pumpkin display was awesome, and we got to see the Chihuly exhibit everyone was talking about. Thanksgiving was the first family holiday without Mom. We hosted again this year. It was a simple meal with Brett's mother and grandfather, Maga, J, and his mother.  It was a hard day all around because I always associated Thanksgiving with my mom since she loved to cook. It was great to have family and friends around, and it made things easier to deal with. We decided to give Gray his first meal of solids since he turned 5 months that day. It was an interesting experience! Unfortunately, Gray had two other firsts that week as well: his first respiratory infection and ear infection. He seemed a little fussy the night of Thanksgiving and had mild temperature, but in the morning, he was fine. We chalked it up to teething and headed to Wichita Falls to see Brett's grandma. Unfortunately, he got worse while we were there. We took him to the doctor the next day to find out he had the respiratory infection and ear infection in his right ear. We were surprised about the ear infection because he hadn't been pulling at his ears. Gray had to have his first rounds of antibiotics and a breathing treatment for several days. The one upside to Thanksgiving break was Brett gave me my birthday present early. We lucked into a decent Black Friday deal on a DSLR camera, which I had been wanting for awhile. 

Gray showing off his new shades

Hanging out with his Maga

Chihuly

Thanksgiving with Grammy

Showing off his homemade Thanksgiving outfit

First chair pictures with the new camera

December-First White Christmas and more sickness
The first part of Christmas was very busy. Semester exams were before break, and we didn't get out until right before break. Brett and I did manage to sneak in some Christmas fun. We took Gray to the Arboretum because their Santa was part of admission. It wasn't a perfect Christmas setting I wanted, but it was better than standing in a long line or paying for the Santa experience. I had always wanted to go to the Santa in North Park, but I had seen several friends responses about it being a bit of a pita. Since he was only 6 months old, it wasn't going to be worth the annoyance. It may even wait another year or so until he really can understand what is happening. We also got to see a real reindeer and see part of the Chihuly exhibit we missed in November. Gray got sick again right before break. This time it was a double ear infection and the stomach flu. Poor guy had to get a shot because he couldn't keep other meds down. We ended up having to cancel an early Christmas visit with my dad, sisters and Zoie. It ended up being okay because we had a lovely Christmas morning. I made a yummy french toast casserole, and we had a nice time. It was very relaxed, and it was like breathing again. Gray got completely spoiled over all. We had planned to go over to my uncle's house, but the bad weather came in the early afternoon. We got celebrate our first white Christmas with Gray's first Christmas. It didn't last long; we did get a chance to take him out and show Gray the snow. Not sure that he was in love with it, but he probably didn't really notice either. We wrapped up the month with a visit from H family. We finally had a chance to introduce D and R's twins to Gray. I am sure it will be even better when they are older and can run around like maniacs. We hosted a get-together for H family, and we had the chance to finally see and introduce Gray to some friends we hadn't had a chance to meet. We ended up spending New Year's at a friend of D and R, and we ended up being home before midnight. We rang in 2013 with Brett's mom, S, and a couple of glasses of Prosecco.

First Santa picture

Messing around with Daddy and Grammy at the Arborteum

Our Christmas card picture

Our new Hallmark ornament

Gray's first ornament

Introducing Gray to our Christmas Eve tradition

Having fun with his first ever Christmas present

Exhausted after opening all his presents

Family photo time

Checking out Gray's first snow

Our snow baby

Long time no see

I am probably the world's worst blogger. It has been almost seven months since my last entry, and this was suppose to be a chronicle of Gray's first year! Yikes!! It is has been an interesting seven months with tons of ups and downs. We have truly had a gambit of events-everything from a wedding to a funeral basically. With each thing, it has been a roller coaster of emotions-going between feeling completely blessed to extreme worry. Here is the blow-by-blow as close as I can remember by the month.

Rest of August-Wedding time and Back to School
The two biggest events for the rest of August was Courtney's (Brett's cousin) wedding and heading back to school. Courtney's wedding was a blast. We finally got a chance for lots of Brett's family who are out of town to meet Mr. Gray. The biggest intros of course were that of the bride and groom, Courtney and Kurt, who were currently stationed in San Diego, and Brett's brother, Ross. Brett and I did get a chance to sneak in a quick dance and spend s few minutes being a couple rather than a frantic parents since family was constantly stealing the kiddo away. I doubt that he once left a person's arm unless it was into his car seat. I also survived my first full week back at school the last week of August. I know that most things you read suggest going back some time in the middle of the week, but those things aren't written by people who seem to understand teaching. The first day is probably the most important day for teachers, and starting off on the wrong foot can sometimes be pivotal in how the year goes. Hence the reason I decided I got into my head that I needed to be back the first week. Hind-sight twenty-twenty, I definitely was not 100% ready to go back. I should have stayed at home another week if not the full three I had left in my maternity leave. Perhaps I would have been saved some of the BS I have had to deal with this year. It hard one for me for more than one reason. I think in some ways going back the first day was the right thing to do for my students, but it has taken a toll now and then on my marriage and parenting time. Overall, the first week wasn't too horrible. More about the school year in later months.

Snuggling with Uncle Ross

The happy couple during their first dance

Courtney being an extremely brave bride by holding the king of spitters

Gray with both of his namesakes, Big Ross and Little Ross

September-Uh... where did that go??

September was a weird month. I vaguely remember the first part not seeming to suck too badly. The first couple of weeks with my students seemed to be going well. They took like gangbusters to the curriculum, and I felt the best I have ever really felt in the first few weeks of teacher despite the lack of sleep-perhaps it is what made me better. I guess around the third week of six weeks (halfway through September) the winds began to speak of change. Things started being more of struggle balancing school time and personal time. I was having trouble keeping up with failures since I didn't have the time like I have had in the years past. Brett and I had planned an alternating take/pick-up schedule, and I couldn't offer as much tutoring time as I had in the past. I love my students, but in general, the population of the school I work at is extremely needy due to deficiencies and gaps in prior education. Not sure what causes the gaps is hard to say, but many need teachers when they are ready to be available rather than when the teacher is actually available. While in the past this has annoyed me, having a child has created some resentment in my missed time with him for those who don't appreciate it. I can't lie and say that I never contemplated up and quitting. Top the student issues with an uncomfortable working atmosphere, needless to say I have had serious issues with going to work on some days, but then some silly kiddo comes along and makes my day. Then I am all back in, which is why I have gotten through the year despite toxic relations within my department. That and my g-hall group. We did manage to make it to two football games to see my former cheerleaders. The other bright side of September was our first date night since batman thanks to my mother-in-law. We hit up the Addison Improv and had a divine time with minimal worries.

Gray getting loves from Ms. Madison

Gray meeting the girl who thinks he is named Aiden (Ms. Jasmine)

Getting a shot with Irv the Tiger at the Nimtz game.

October-Celebrating with Goodbyes
October has always been my favorite month. My favorite holiday is Halloween. Brett and I started dating in 2002 in this month, and we also wed as well in 2008. 2011 was a memorable one since we managed to conceive Mr. Gray as well as spending our anniversary date in the hospital thanks to me slicing my finger open with a cheese knife. This past October was a very  bittersweet and probably why I haven't been blogging. Not even sure yet if I am ready to deal with this, but something self consciously must think it is time because I had desperate urge to blog tonight-something I have wanted to do but couldn't bring myself to do. October started out well. I had the best natural passing rate and my kiddos seemed to be getting some where compared to the other freshman. I was still stressed but nothing abnormal. Brett and I were excited because we were getting to do our favorite October tradition of going to the pumpkin patch as a family, and we were going to be celebrating our fourth wedding anniversary and 10 years together. My mother also seemed to be doing well on top of it, and it looked like she had turned a corner. She had been fighting her third round of colon cancer, and the prognosis we received in April of 2012 hadn't been fantastic-about a year left. Each milestone she meet, we were excited and tentatively hopeful. While she didn't get to make it to the delivery room for Gray due to my c-section, she couldn't have been more excited to have meet him. He seemed to give her a renewed sense of hope that there was something to survive for. Her hair had started coming back in, and she told me she was putting on more weight. She had also told Maga, my grandmother, that there was a new treatment the doctor was going to try. I had gotten my hopes up a bit that she might actually make it to Gray's first birthday.

Much to our dismay, our hopes ended on October 18th. I remember starting the day off excited. After all, I was happy about our weekend anniversary plans, and I was hoping Brett would remember to send me flowers that day since he hadn't for my first day back. For some reason, I had a sick feeling in my stomach at the beginning of second period-like a bundle of nerves. I just pushed things aside thinking it was nervous excited over waiting for them to call saying I had flowers. For some reason, I left my phone in my room-something I almost never due considering the child thing as well as my mom's condition. When I saw Mr. C, one of our security guards, walk into our PLC, I knew immediately that he was here for me, and my stomach dropped out because I knew it wasn't good news. I remember him barely finishing the words telling me that Brett was trying to get a hold of me before I started racing down to my classroom. I tried to think it wasn't something bad, kept thinking it couldn't be her, wishing it wasn't her-all the time knowing it was in the pit of my stomach. When I got back to my class, I got a hold of Brett, and he let me know what was going on. My mom had been taken to ICU, and things did not look good. I arranged for my classes to be taken, and Brett came and picked me up. We went to the hospital and got more details. Apparently, the tumor had ruptured and gone through my mother's colon, and this was causing her essentially to become septic sine all of her body's waste was entering her system. In a normal healthy person, this problem would be easily fixed, but my mom was far from good health due to years of cancer treatment. Her doctor didn't think she would survive surgery, and we had to make the decision that it was time to make her comfortable. At the time, my dad, grandmother, Brett, and I were the only ones at the hospital, and no one had told my sisters what was happening. We waited as long as we could, but I had to tell them final to come up to say their goodbyes. It was the most heartbreaking thing I have had to do. The girls came up and stayed for a bit, and then they went home because it was hard to keep Zoie entertained in same hospital room. Around 8 or so, Mom finally passed away. It was a struggle of emotions. Part of me was devastated that she was gone but happy she wasn't in pain. I was also angry because she hadn't told us everything that was going on and that she had been too afraid to really talk about what was going on. We were all left with so many mixed emotions. The arrangements and funeral went by so quickly, and it honestly seems like both an eternity ago and just yesterday. I am very lucky that I had such a support system with both families, friends, and co-works. It was nice to see family and some of my mom's old friends at the funeral. I know I hugged Gray a little closer those days and spent a lot of time cuddling him. I still can't wrap my mind around some of the feelings I get, and I know the healing process is far from over. Each holiday and milestone are bittersweet since they are missed by her. Extolling Gray's adventures to his Grammy and Maga is constantly a struggle because I know someone is missing. Having such a strong bond with my grandmother has me aching in the heart that Gray will not know my mother like I have known her mother. I have flashes of anger sometimes when I look at some of the stuff I have inherit like her sewing machine and fabric. I feel dirty sometimes touching it because I think my mother should be here using this or making the things she talked desperately about making Gray. I guess the worst one is when I am trying to not freak-out about Gray stuff. I will think, "I'll just call mom," because she would know the answer, and then I realize that I can't because she is gone. Not really sure when this will stop.

When I returned to work, things seemed to go downhill, and they haven't really stopped slipping. We finally made it to the pumpkin patch, and it was nice to have a new tradition for our little family, even if Gray wasn't too fond of it just yet. It was a nice trip to forget what was going on. We also did our first family holiday craft by painting Gray's pumpkin and putting his feet print on them. It actually turned out to be pretty adorable. Gray was also starting to pick up his own personality.

The last photo I took of my mom with her grandchildren

First annual family trip to the Flower Mound Pumpkin Patch

Family photo at the pumpkin patch

Gray showing off our handy work on his first pumpkin.

It is late, and the last part of this really wore me out writing. I will try to play so more catch-up in the next post along with a bit more happiness.